It doesn't have to be.

A few thoughts from the past 9mths.

It's been an interesting ride for me and my beautiful partner, Ben. This pregnancy has not been easy to say the least but we weren't expecting it to be either. What we weren't expecting was what we have learnt about the journey we're on, hurtling towards parenthood and about ourselves.

I am one for "sayings", a good quote or a tag line. When I moved to Sydney to further my career as a personal trainer, everyone there called me the country girl with all the sayings. Guilty as charged. My "saying" to come out of the past nine months is, "It doesn't have to be".

I've always been the person who questions most things, much to my mothers dismay as a young teenager. However I question most things for two reasons. One, if it doesn't make sense to me and secondly if it doesn't correlate with the message that someone is trying to get across. I am a big believer in using the correct language, not sugar coating it and hoping that what you are saying makes sense and if it doesn't than "Oh well!". I absolutely do not have time for that.

So, here I sit, typing at 40w + 3d pregnant at my version of what "It doesn't have to be" means.

Let me start by saying that everything has an industry or a motive/agenda behind it these days. I mean that is why we have social media right? So, people's or big corperations agendas can be pushed and profit can be made. One of the biggest industries out there, the baby birthing industry. Pregnancy would have to be one of the highest profit, generating industries I have come across. BUT, and here is the sting, I allowed it to be that way. It doesn't have to be.

I was so caught up in being pregnant and being as prepared as I possibly could that I went searching for far too much information and made this bigger than Ben Hurr (as my mother would say). Making my experience a tad overwhelming for myself. Resourcing too much information and too many other opinions that I have worked myself up into a lather of overstimulated, jaw clenching and exhausted mother-to-be.

I literally got to about 35 weeks and said no more and then of course more came. People ask me if we have our child's nursery set up yet or if I have enough nappies or do we have this specific product. I laugh and say yes, we've had all that done and dusted weeks ago, maybe even months ago.

Now there is nothing wrong with being organised but this is probably one step further than that. I haven't gone over board but there does need to come a time where enough is enough. No more information, no more reels from online midwives and no more "things" for the baby. STOP!!! Instead I have given myself a good talking too and from here on in I will no longer ask my girlfriends who are already mum's what their experience was like because if I have learnt anything from the past nine months its that no two pregnancies are the same, therefore no two birth stories will be the same. No more clothes for bubs, no more products and no more scrolling in search for birth stories, Breathe. What will be will be.

However the real point to this article and me writing it today is this.

What is going on in your life at the moment that you could absolutely say "It doesn't have to be...."

It doesn't have to be this stressful.

It doesn't have to be this time consuming.

It doesn't have to be this overwhelming.

Are you creating more friction then there really needs to be? Let it go, pivot to the next best thing and work on that or focus on that better "thing". The better choice, the better attitude, the better perspective because most of the time we are the ones making it harder than it really needs to be.

Coach B x

What will be, will be.